Addicted
by anime is my thing
Summary: Orochimaru becomes addicted to Shojo manga. What will happen next, no one knows.


I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does.

Addicted

"HEY!! Has anyone seen my Shojo manga? It's gone missing," Miyu asked.

"No! Who likes Shojo manga anyway? It's all mushy and it's just disgusting. To think my ultimate experiment... I mean daughter reads that stuff. It's just sick," Orochimaru commented.

"Who asked for your opinion, old man? Which ones are you missing? I hope you're not missing your Absolute Boyfriend manga! I love that series!" Konan inquired, hitting Orochimaru on the head and making him fall to the floor. A book dropped from his limp body and Miyu picked it up.

"I didn't know you read books!" Miyu remarked.

"Orochimaru reads!!" Itachi exclaimed as he spit the soda that he was drinking all over Kisame.

"Ewwww!! Gross! Know I have to go take another shower. You're so sick Itachi," Kisame screamed as he stalked off to take a shower for the third time that day (one when he woke up out of habit and the other because he got too close to Zetsu while he was eating his meal.)

"Whatever, Kisame. Keep telling yourself that. Now what's this about Orochimaru reading?" Itachi shot back.

"It's a book. Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi cheered.

"BURN!!" Deidara yelled and flames leapt up behind him as he said this.

"But Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi argued his hands spread out wide and his head down.

"THAT'S THE PROBLEM YOU IDOIT!!" Pain screamed. He then went to his head against a wall, because he had to listen to Tobi all day yesterday (Tobi had to get his ADHD medicine and Pain was the unlucky person who had to take him, because he drew the short straw.)

"If he dies can I eat him?" Zetsu asked hungrily.

"What is up with you and food, Zetsu? Also, why is Orochimaru reading Absolute Boyfriend?" Miyu questioned.

"WHAT!! HE READS SHOJO MANGA!!" the rest of the Akatsuki shouted. Everyone then sweat dropped from surprise.

"Did someone die?" Orochimaru thought aloud as he finally became conscious again.

Everyone suddenly jumped into the air. It was like they had all just smelled Miyu's cooking and were rushing to go to the table, except for he fact that Miyu had sweat dropped, too, so she couldn't be cooking.

"No, you sicko! You read Absolute Boyfriend! It's okay for Konan and Miyu to read that stuff, because they're girls. No offense you guys. You are a guy and a dad at that! Why do you read that sort of stuff it's for GIRLS! **GIRLS**!!" Sasori began ranting all the while waving his hands around in the air.

"WHAT!? How did you know? I mean, I don't read trash like that," Orochimaru replied nonchalantly.

"Then explain this," Miyu demanded as she slammed the book on the table in front of his face.

"Well, I... Um... I... OH! Okay! I'll admit it! I love Shojo manga! I've been secretly reading your Shojo manga at night for the past month! I even watch the anime adapted from it!" Orochimaru admitted crying on the floor as his pride left him.

All of the Akatsuki started to laugh at him. Kazuku even recorded the moment, so he could copy the tape and sell it on eBay for a lot of money.

"SHUT UP!!" Miyu ordered as she brought out a frying pan.

"Why? This is gold," Kisame pointed out.

"Because it isn't nice to life at other people. I was laughed at for my whole life before I joined the Akatsuki just because... HEY! Wait a minute, I was laughed at because I was Orochimaru's daughter, so you guys can continue laughing at him. Just make sure that you're done in time for dinner. I'm going to go start on it now," Miyu explained turning a supposed sympathetic moment towards Orochimaru into an okay to hurt his feelings moment (Yes, Orochimaru actually has feelings. Surprising, isn't it?)

So, the day ended and everyone learned that Orochimaru liked Shojo manga (and that he read books). Orochimaru was embarrassed and laughed at by the rest of the Akatsuki and everyone had a really great dinner. Oh, Orochimaru also said something about getting revenge and about their eternal souls being ripped out of their bodies while they were sleeping and being forced to battle each other for all eternity, but who cares about that. Orochimaru never did get his revenge (He forgot all about it, because Miyu bought him his own Shojo manga/anime collection) and he never stole Miyu's manga collection again (Well, every other week or so a volume would come missing, but they would find it later in the fridge. Why the fridge we shall never know.)


End file.
